Buy Acomplia Rimonabant Without Prescription, Skeptics universally fear illogical claims and asinine assertions, but this fear is not reasonable. Such a fear is rooted in a Western way of thought that sees skepticism as totally opposed to credulousness. But it is high time skeptics embraced a more mystical, Eastern way of thinking: The Tao of Skepticism.
Modern skeptical techniques simply do not work. For example, Online buy Acomplia Rimonabant without a prescription, in light of the recent libel case against Simon Singh brought about by the British Chiropractic Association (BCA), skeptics have been ranting and raving about the lack of research showing any efficacy for chiropractic techniques on various childhood conditions like colic and asthma. This skeptical approach, buy Acomplia Rimonabant online without a prescription, however, Where to buy Acomplia Rimonabant, is totally unreasonable---even bogus.
The promoters of medical nonsense and quackery have been winning the popularity contest for years, as evidenced by lumbering, Acomplia Rimonabant in usa, well-funded organizations like the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM), Acomplia Rimonabant overseas, which are being funded by respectable organizations like the National Institutes of Health (NIH). Alternative medicine skeptics, naturally, unwaveringly stick to their traditional techniques of logical argument, order Acomplia Rimonabant online c.o.d, continually pointing out logical fallacies and demanding evidence, Ordering Acomplia Rimonabant online, blind to the fact that this approach does not win over the public. But to the average layperson, skeptics just seem whiny, demanding, where can i buy cheapest Acomplia Rimonabant online, and closed-minded. Such arguments are not convincing. Online buying Acomplia Rimonabant hcl, Therefore, I propose that skeptics should borrow the tactics of the believers, performing a sort of mental judo throw and using the weight of the believers against themselves, Acomplia Rimonabant from canadian pharmacy. After all, for every yin, there is a yang; for every summer, there is a winter; and for every nut, there is a nutcracker. Sometimes what is dark leads us to light, and sometimes what is wrong can be right, and sometimes the long-winded and rambling can seem poetic. There is a time for killing and a time for healing, and a time for skepticism and a time for being credulous fucktards. As such, we must embrace what I call the Tao of Skepticism, realizing that we must reign in our passion for critical thinking and occasionally act like raging fucktards to win over the masses to our side. What follows, then, is a brief survey of these new, mystical, Eastern tactics we could use to battle medical nonsense and other woo. (The focus on chiropractic is courtesy of the BCA, as bullying lawsuits against fine science writers like Simon Singh will not be tolerated by the blogosphere, and will guarantee you all sorts of bad press. Let this be a lesson to you fuckwits.) In the mystical, ancient technique known as the Tao of Skepticism, these tactics are known as The Sevenfold Ways of Woo:
The Way of the Big
Complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) is a huge, big-money industry. It is composed of large organizations and groups, like the British Chiropractors Association (BCA), that drown out individuals, swelling to gargantuan proportions like some sort of malignant tumor or radioactive lizard that breathes fire and terrorizes the Japanese. Using the Tao of Skepticism, naturally, we can use this knee-jerk dislike of large, corporate entities to our skeptical advantage. For, as anyone knows, huge organizations and corporations are uniformly evil. Those who dispute such a claim need only look toward Walmart, that giant of the retail industry, whose low, low prices come at the cost of pissing on the souls of puppies and eating the desires and dreams of little children everywhere. Given people's aversion to anything large, and their overwhelming desire to characterize organizations and groups as soul-less corporate husks, a simple tactic for skeptics to fight against woo is to simply refer to alternative medicine as BIG. No argument is needed. The next time someone tries to say anything positive about chiropractic, just sneer, "Oh, you mean Big Chiro..." and watch as your opponent withers away, unable to counter this claim. The beauty of this argument is that it is not an argument at all. Thus, no one can argue against a sneer of "Big Chiro"---for how do you logically refute an emotionally laden word devoid of argument? You can't. Beware, though, for there is one area in which this argument won't apply, and that is in regards to woo-woo "penis pills" that claim to offer "male enhancement" (i.e., penis enlargment). For whatever reason, criticizing anything else as Big always seems to work wonders, but calling penis pills Big Penis only encourages people to buy more. I don't yet understand why this should be the case, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant Without Prescription.
The Closed-Minded Way
Skeptics are not the only closed-minded people out there. The Tao of Skepticism shows us the yin to this yang, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant online with no prescription, as chiropractors and other alternative medicine practitioners, for example, are so closed-minded that they put even skeptics and atheist fundamentalists to shame. If one innocently asserts that chiropractic is a bunch of foolish, Acomplia Rimonabant prescriptions, ignorant bullshit, Purchase Acomplia Rimonabant, for instance, chiropractors will universally jump to the defensive, arguing at lenth that this isn't true! Of course, purchase Acomplia Rimonabant online no prescription, this is exactly how closed-minded people react. How dare these loud-mouthed assholes be so bold as to deny that chiropractic is complete bullshit! Are they really so closed-minded that they can't even conceive of chiropractic as a foolish and flailing alternative medicine modality that shares many qualities with the feces of bulls? Why can't they open their minds and embrace skepticism, Acomplia Rimonabant in uk, or open their minds to the fact that maybe, just maybe, cracking the spine has no fucking effect on asthma? What arrogant, Acomplia Rimonabant to buy, unflinching swine these chiropractors are for being closed to these possibilities! Alternative medicine practitioners are thus arrogant and rude to so quickly deny that their treatments are bullshit nonsense that fare little better than placebos. Buy cheap Acomplia Rimonabant, The Way of the Quantum Skeptic
As most skeptics know, believers who promote bunk and nonsense frequently invoke quantum physics as justifications for their nonsensical claims. But skeptics have failed to utilize this amazing tactic, which can be used to justify almost anything, order Acomplia Rimonabant online c.o.d, provided you have enough ignorance of the real physics. The Tao of Skepticism, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant online without a prescription, thankfully, is wholly ignorant of any physics, be it quantum or classical! For instance, Acomplia Rimonabant discount, did you know that Schrodinger's cat argues against chiropractic, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant online cod, because it shows that our backs are always in a superposition of alignment and misalignment, and that when we are lying on a chiropractor's table---like a half-dead, half-alive cat---we could wind up dead after an observation collapses the wave function? Also, Acomplia Rimonabant price, coupon, Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle proves that chiropractic cannot work, Purchase Acomplia Rimonabant online no prescription, because a chiropractor cannot know the position of a vertebrae if he knows the velocity at which he will manipulate it, and therefore he cannot find it, and on the other hand he cannot know the velocity at which he will manipulate a vertebrae if he knows its position, Acomplia Rimonabant in usa, and therefore he could manipulate it at too great a velocity, Acomplia Rimonabant pills, causing injury and/or stroke. Thus, the chiropractor cannot possible manipulate the spine, because the Uncertainty Principle shows that he'd either manipulate it at too great a velocity or be unable to locate the spine. Clearly, Acomplia Rimonabant prescriptions, the Tao of Skepticism puts quantum woo-woo on the side of the skeptics. Acomplia Rimonabant craiglist, The Way of the Unnatural and Wrong
Most any skeptic has encountered the naturalistic fallacy, or the claim that something is not right because it is not natural. Of course, though this is a logical fallacy, Acomplia Rimonabant for sale, that does not mean we skeptics cannot co-opt it for its effectiveness. Chiropractors, Purchase Acomplia Rimonabant online, for instance, are highly unnatural people who do unnatural things to the spine. You do not, after all, rx free Acomplia Rimonabant, go into the wild and see elephants and badgers cracking each other's spines, Where to buy Acomplia Rimonabant, or paying other animals pretending to be doctors to fuck with their neck. (The only natural correlate to the chiropractor in the wild is the duck, which is also a type of quack.) This defense can even be used against those alternative remedies that thrive on implications that they are "all natural", like herbal medicine---the Tao of Skepticism, Acomplia Rimonabant in canada, after all, Purchase Acomplia Rimonabant, can show us how even natural things are unnatural, and unnatural things are perfectly natural. For example, one can simply remark that it is not natural to buy strange herbs from weird hippies in jars riddled with fake chinese calligraphy in the case of "natural" herbal medicine. Clearly, where can i buy cheapest Acomplia Rimonabant online, what is most natural is to not use any of these alternative practices at all, Sale Acomplia Rimonabant, whether it be sticking yourself full of needles, eating a bunch of strange, foreign herbs, delivered overnight Acomplia Rimonabant, or fucking around with your vertebrae. Better to just die alone and miserable, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant online without prescription, or be eaten by a predator, which is the natural way of doing things.
The Way of Cheapness (Never Mind Efficacy)
One positive aspect to alternative medical modalities like Therapeutic Touch, Acomplia Rimonabant in japan, herbal medicine, Acomplia Rimonabant in australia, or homeopathy is that these treatments are generally cheaper than "Western" cures, like surgery. Therapeutic Touch, of course, buy Acomplia Rimonabant online with no prescription, is cheap because it requires about one millionth of the skill it takes to be a surgeon. Even a frickin retarded bonobo could pretend to move your nonexistent "energy" by randomly waving its arms six inches over your body. Herbal medicine, Order Acomplia Rimonabant no prescription, likewise, is generally cheaper than western medicine because these products don't attempt to isolate the active ingredient or supply it in fixed amounts. You just get the whole damned herb, regardless of how much of the active ingredient is present, Acomplia Rimonabant over the counter, because isolating the chemically relevant portion of the herb would be costly! Of course, Real brand Acomplia Rimonabant online, skeptics can counter the cheapness of alternative medicine by inventing their own cheap "treatments," using the Tao of Skepticism. For instance, Acomplia Rimonabant in us, the next time someone remarks that homeopathy is cheaper than chemotherapy for treating cancer, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant no prescription, simply reply that you have an even cheaper treatment called "trout slapping," wherein you slap someone with a trout, and you will perform said therapy for only the cost of the trout. Obviously, saturday delivery Acomplia Rimonabant, if alternative medicine is so cheap, Online buying Acomplia Rimonabant hcl, skeptics can envision countless therapies that would be even chaper (and thereby more effective, in the mind of the believer)---and that includes doing absolutely nothing. Why take homeopathy when sitting on your ass eating Fritos is cheaper!? Why go to a chiropractor for a long, arduous process of spinal manipulation when I can simply "treat" you with Pudding Sock Therapy, buy generic Acomplia Rimonabant, wherein I soak my socks in pudding and then stick them in your ear? It's cheaper! And if Western medicine hasn't worked, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant from mexico, and has cost you so much money, you have nothing to lose by trying it (except possibly your ability to hear)! After all, if that chemotherapy isn't curing your cancer, buy Acomplia Rimonabant online no prescription, you may as well let me piss on you for a little piss therapy, Where to buy Acomplia Rimonabant, or fart into your butthole for reverse fart therapy, as I only charge a few dollars for it.
The Way of Ancient Wisdom
It is unseemly to disrespect one's elders. The elderly and ancient, next day Acomplia Rimonabant, even those who have degenerative neurlogical diseases and are incapable of remembering how to put on pants, Acomplia Rimonabant tablets, are universally more intelligent and wise than the young. As such, traditional, ancient wisdom always trumps modern advances. This is why traditional chinese medicine is seen as so effective, fast shipping Acomplia Rimonabant, and why practices like blood-letting and burning witches are as effective today as they were in the past. (This is true, Ordering Acomplia Rimonabant online, by the way---they are as ineffective today as they were back then!) Given these facts, skeptics must emphasize the ancient historicity of their claims. Did you know that peer-reviewed medical journals were present in neolithic caves, painted on the walls with the blood of yaks, Acomplia Rimonabant in uk, complete with P values of less than or equal to 0.001 in regards to the efficacy of yak blood as a pigment? Did you know that ancient chinese men sitting on top of mountains believed that homeopathy is bunk and vaccines should be administered to children? It's true! And we have to accept it, Free Acomplia Rimonabant samples, because it is old. Just as we must accept it when our racist grandfather starts talking about "the Japs." Judging from his wrinkles, after all, he must be correct. Skeptics, Acomplia Rimonabant paypal, of course, Acomplia Rimonabant overseas, have a useful resource in the form of James Randi, a man in his eighties, with a long enough beard to look like something out of the 18th century. No one can deny HIS traditional wisdom. Once again, where can i find Acomplia Rimonabant online, the Tao of Skepticism shows us that the path of the skeptic can intersect the path of the believer, Acomplia Rimonabant san diego, becoming one with it in a process of self-annihilation and renewal. Indeed, the Tao of Skepticism itself is based on ancient, mystical wisdom (I swear it is not something I just made up a few hours ago!), Acomplia Rimonabant trusted pharmacy reviews, and so therefore it, Order Acomplia Rimonabant online overnight delivery no prescription, too, must be correct.
The Way of Implausible Conspiracy Theories
By now, buy Acomplia Rimonabant from canada, everyone knows that doctors are secretly members of a ritualistic cabal that requires them to take an oath never to cure cancer, Buy Acomplia Rimonabant without prescription, AIDS, or any other disease, as doing so would significantly reduce their profits. What would doctors do, after all, if they were not continually receiving more and more patients with AIDS and cancer? They'd all be out of business, playing golf, and never dying from cancer or AIDS! Why would anyone want that? Clearly, there is no incentive for doctors to cure diseases. But on the other hand, the skeptic should note, is the fact that there is no incentive for chiropractors to cure asthma, back problems, and so on. After all, if a chiropractor can cure a back problem in a single visit, there will be no need for the patient to return. Clearly, if you want to have your AIDS cured, you will have to continually return to the Chiropractor, naturopath, or homeopath, except when you die, in which case the alternative medical practioner has "healed" you by sending you back to Heaven or something. (Perhaps the oddest thing about this defense for the skeptic, of course, is that it is largely true! Chiropractors really do try to get repeat customers by emphasizing that constant manipulations are required, even in the absence of any supporting evidence for this.)
Conclusion
There are many more tactics skeptics could adopt to counter the forces of magical thinking and alternative medicine, but there is not room enough here to detail all of them. The Tao of Skepticism, after all, is all-encompassing. It is contradictory and incoherent, but very well, because like Walt Whitman it contains multitudes. What is clear, however, is that skeptics need to abandon the current course, in which they use only reason, logic, and science. With alternative medicine infiltrating government health organizations, medical schools, pharmacies, and hospitals the world over, skeptics can easily recognize that science-based medicine is losing ground. The irrational, ridiculous tactics of the alternative medicine movement, even in spite of their irrationality and ridiculousness, have won over countless adherents. As such, skeptics should learn from the successes of alternative medicine and embrace a more pragmatic approach, using the same idiotic defenses of alternative medicine in support of skepticism and scientific thinking. In the end, this is the only way in which we can conceivably gain ground. By appeasing the believers with low-brow thinking and horrid argument, we can win the day by converting even the most hard-nosed skeptic into a bumbling idiot, which would instantly garner such skeptics newfound respect among idiots all over the world, and in effect guarantee them spots on Larry King Live, Oprah, and the Huffington Post, where they could spout their skeptically oriented idiocy ad nauseam. Then, when the dust settles, the skeptics will have won the battle of witlessness, and they could finally return to the enclaves of science, reason, and evidence-based thinking, weary of the long, hard road they have traveled. Sometimes, in order to defeat your enemy, you must become your enemy; you must embrace the yin in your yang; and you must become stupid if you wish to remain smart. Such is the Tao of Skepticism.
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