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Apr 01

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About the author

Dustin Martinez

I'm a laid back guy. I love pizza! I never know what to write in these things! I constantly think of suicide and stand perilously before the ominous void of nonexistence. I have two dogs and I love tennis!

8 comments

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  1. Nick

    Damn, you had me going there for two out of three paragraphs. Nice April fools. It’s unfortunate that it’s in jest. I’d like to here your straight take on Objectivism.

  2. Benjamin

    I know (think?) this is a joke, but is there perchance any book like that? It sounds pretty awesome! I just finished reading the Prince for the lulz

  3. Ben

    hehe

  4. Warren

    Can’t decide if you read Atlas Shrugged or Battlefield Earth. The high-adventure bombast suggests Hubbard, while the interminable soliloquizing about the inherent moral superiority of money seems like Rand. The stupidly pointless plot could be either.

    And of course both books are woefully thick, as are most who praise them.

    Nicely done.

  5. Samantha

    Lol. Warren. Erudite much? You might want to try a Hungry Man chicken dinner rather than a dictionary for your next meal. I hear they are yummy.

    The only thing thick here is the fact that you’re comparing Rand to Hubbard at all, and he IS describing Atlas Shrugged albeit in an 8th grade manner and with a hint of religious bleeding heart zealot. Perhaps you should read it before launching your guesstimations out into the ether. It appears you haven’t…or oh darn! did you just intend that as a opening to compare it to BE? So clever! Nah. I doubt you read it.

    If you think there is nothing wrong with being ‘expected’ to care for the weak and useless of society then I fully expect that you will donate every pay you get to them. That you will devote your life to ensuring that theirs is better, all the while shutting the fuck up about it too.

    You seem to gloss over the fact that the parasites in AS were perfectly capable of doing things for themselves but didn’t. Why should anyone ever help someone who isn’t willing to help themselves? It makes no sense to me.

    Also, if you’re mistaking rough -consensual- passion between Darcy and Rearden as rape I suggest you divorce and get out a little more. You have more to learn it seems.

    Anyone who works hard for a living to succeed while many sit and suck the tit of a system we pay for should be terrified by Atlas Shrugged because it’s happening all around us now. Please, don’t acknowledge objectivism. Spend your time sacrificing for the leeches so I never have to. -wink- Cheers.

  6. Annie

    Fucking hilarious!!!

  7. Paul

    You are damn good at this. Daily Show, Colbert Report, Emmy award-winning good. Maybe even better. Did you catch that bit on Colbert about Atlas Shrugged the movie? Check it out here:

    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/383683/may-04-2011/movies-that-are-destroying-america—saving-america-edition

    It was funny, but your article is funnier. Punching poor people! I couldn’t stop laughing when I read that. I would also love to see your reply to madame Samantha up there.

  8. Blakenator

    Paul, I would advise leaving Samantha alone. Attacking someone’s imaginary friends is always an exercise in futility.

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