Welcome to Saint Gasoline Podcast episode 11, in which I discuss the following:

• Susan G. Komen for the Cure fights Planned Parenthood to the death and is promptly handed its ass.
• The Republicans are now waging a war on birth control. They claim the pill is hoarding WMDs and filling mass graves with millions of dead sperm!
• The Westminster Dog Show was yesterday. I watched it and was outraged that Fifi, my Doberman Pinscher friend on Facebook, did not win. Instead some encephalitic, febrile midget with hip dysplasia and a severely mutated face won. Why do dog shows encourage deformity?
• Drive is a good movie, but I’m unsure how being really quiet and smiling awkwardly attracts women. For Driver, though, it seems to work. It probably doesn’t hurt that he’s also Ryan Gosling.

In this episode, Dustin discusses his obsession with the new video game Deus Ex: Human Revolution, a stealth shooter that involves sneaking up to and killing stupid people and then shuffling through people’s desk drawers to steal their granola bars. In political news, Dustin discusses the latest GOP Tea Party debate, from the HPV vaccine debacle to the infamous “Let him die” remark from the crowd during the debate. Dustin also remembers 9/11 by panning the media coverage, which is tantamount to repeatedly reminding a traumatized rape victim of that time she was raped, and oh, by the way, here are some pictures and video of the time it happened. Finally, Dustin gives a brief overview of cosmology and science based on the latest news that the LHC has shown that certain versions of string theory and super symmetry are probably no longer tenable. (Physics friends, I know this is mostly bullshit and I have the physics understanding of a clown who has clearly never studied physics in clown college. Apologies in advance.)

As always, if you like the podcast, add me on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Friendster, etc. Go to the top of your roof and shout about it a little, too. Maybe tell your friends and uncles and such. Thanks, and good night!

In this episode of the Saint Gasoline Podcast, Dustin discusses a bunch of random shit that he didn’t get to cover in his two-week absence. On the bright side, though, his absence was the result of a vacation in New York, where he got to experience an earthquake AND a hurricane, as well as what it is like to live in a city that people actually care about and pay attention to. Here are the topics covered:

Steve Jobs steps down as CEO of Apple.

The Gold bubble is bursting! Sell your gold now! Don’t listen to Glenn Beck!

“Friending” is made illegal in Missouri.

A highway in Nashville is shut down due to a bull semen spill.

The stock markets are like a rollercoaster! Up and down and supported by rotting wooden beams and operated by idiots who don’t understand how it all works.

A Russian space shuttle crashes. And this is who the United States has to rely on to get into space now…

The UK protestors actually managed to create more jobs: prison guard jobs!

Bachmann wins a straw poll, some guy whose name I forgot dropped out of the race, Romney says corporations and Soylent Green are people, and various other political nonsense!

TOP STORY: Colonel Gaddafi has finally been ousted from power! Now the Libyan rebels will finally get to elect their own dictator! Also, I rant about why voting is bullshit.

SECOND TOP STORY: Natural disasters rock the east coast! And by “rock” I mean “mildly disturb.”

As always, add me on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to help support the podcast, and also tell everyone you know and threaten to stab them if they don’t listen to me. No, seriously.

In this episode, Dustin tries to talk about Final Destination 5 but ends up on a tangent somehow involving President Obama asking to be raped by Republicans. A man from Sweden attempts to split atoms in his kitchen, whereas I can barely split bananas. And 30 Americans die in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan…and they happen to be from the same team that killed Osama Bin Laden. For the main stories, Dustin talks about the following issues:

Democrats win only 2 of 6 recall elections in Wisconsin, proving to Republicans that they can get away with anything. However, the rioters in Britain still know how to protest better.

S&P downgrades America’s bond rating from AAA to AA+, but this doesn’t affect US bonds. In response, America downgrades S&P from “idiots who were wrong about the financial instruments that caused the 2008 financial crisis” to “dead to me.”

Michele Bachmann looks crazy on the cover of Newsweek! Hey, it could be worse. When I was on the cover of Time, I wasn’t wearing any pants.

In the conclusion, Dustin thanks Erica, a loyal listener, for her generous donation. He also thanks the StacheCast once again for reading his perverted emails on their podcast about his unrequited robot love.

Welcome to Episode 7! Apologies for getting this episode out so late. I was taking a moment of podcast silence for Norway. Either that or I was just lazy and too busy. Whatever you’d like to believe, really. Anyway, in today’s episode I discuss the following topics:

-Dustin rails against the state of the movie industry, which propels classics such as Smurfs and Cowboys & Aliens to the top of the box office for no apparent reason.
-Dustin reveals his hidden love for squeezable foodstuffs, and proves that Facebook pages exist for every product, including those as obscure (and delicious) as Pizza Squeeze.
-With Rupert Murdoch being pied in the face in the wake of the massive phone hacking scandal, I come to the realization that more pies are needed in today’s media, and that a good pie to the face is perhaps the best way to revitalize media interest in any topic.

Michele Bachmann gets migraines! Does this disqualify her from being President? Or is this the best thing we could hope for?

A terrorist attack rocks Norway, and the media immediately assumes the attack was perpetrated by Muslim extremists until they learn that it was carried out by the exact opposite of a Muslim extremist: a white Christian dude who hated Muslims. Way to report, media!

Also, be sure to check out all the great podcasts I recommended. The Bugle, Ardent Atheist, Citizen Radio, and The StacheCast are among the best.