Category Archive: Humor

When you hear the word slime Buy Cipro Without Prescription, , you probably think of a fresh sneeze, or green goop, or, if you're weird and really into Freud, that your mother didn't wipe your ass nearly to your satisfaction as a baby. Buy Cipro online cod, What you most certainly do not think is "That sounds like something that belongs in my mouth!" (Unless you're that weird guy stuck in Freud's anal stage. Then who knows what the fuck you think is appropriate for your mouth.) However, next day Cipro, Where to buy Cipro, despite this general rule concerning mouth/slime avoidance, beef processors have been introducing slime into your ground beef for years, Cipro paypal. Ordering Cipro online, It's called pink slime. Because, fast shipping Cipro, Buy Cipro no prescription, as you've already no doubt figured out, it is pink and it is slimy, Cipro in canada.

The beef industry, of course, does not call it pink slime, Buy Cipro Without Prescription. Purchase Cipro online, They decided to go with the more palatable name lean finely textured beef, or LFTB for short, free Cipro samples. Order Cipro online c.o.d, Lean finely textured beef, unlike pink slime, Cipro to buy online, Over the counter Cipro, sounds downright delicious---even healthy. But it's not as if the beef industry is going to give a product that looks like pink slime a more obviously descriptive name like pink slime, Cipro gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release. Where can i buy Cipro online, It's in a business's best interests to not name things descriptively, which is why, real brand Cipro online, Ordering Cipro online, for example, a McDonalds Big Mac is not called Your Mother's Vagina, Cipro in india, Buying Cipro online over the counter, even though it's greasy and full of protein and something you definitely would not want near your mouth---just like your mother's vagina---and, let's face it, Cipro to buy, Fast shipping Cipro, if you scrunch up a Big Mac in just the right way...it kinda looks like your mother's vagina. Buy Cipro Without Prescription, In fact, the beef industry would go much further than just the nondescript name of lean finely textured beef if they could get away with it. Were it not for laws, purchase Cipro online, Cipro trusted pharmacy reviews, morals, and the survival of society as a whole, Cipro in usa, Cipro in australia, the beef industry probably would have called their pink slime orgasm beef that gives you orgasms when you eat it, tit-pussy! (exclamation point included), where can i buy cheapest Cipro online, Cipro in japan, or OBTGYOWYEI,TP, sale Cipro. Cipro prescriptions, for short (to pronounce that acronym, just fill your mouth with pink slime and then try to say "objective yawp"---yep, Cipro prices, Cipro paypal, you got it!).

What is pink slime, buy no prescription Cipro online, Cipro in uk, though. It's a meat additive made from beef scraps and connective tissue that have been mechanically removed from the animal's fat, buy cheap Cipro no rx. Pink slime is what's left after the meat for hamburgers and steaks is gone, basically, Buy Cipro Without Prescription. Cipro pills, Because this meat tends to be laden with bacteria (from being so close to the cow's germ metropolis and brown slime depository, otherwise called its anus), purchase Cipro online no prescription, Cipro in canada, it must be processed with antibacterial ammonia to prevent the spread of bacteria, and surprisingly it has not been linked to any health problems despite this, buy Cipro without a prescription. Cipro san diego, Before the process for ridding this meat with bacteria was developed, though, order Cipro no prescription, Where can i find Cipro online, the meat could only legally be used in pet food or given to homeless people in big, slimy gobs so they'll squeegee your window better, buy Cipro from mexico. Cipro in us,

In short, pink slime is a gross-looking product that to date hasn't been implicated in any sort of health problems, order Cipro from mexican pharmacy. Delivered overnight Cipro, However, gross looks are enough to spawn outrage among ridiculous meat-eating consumers, buy Cipro from canada. Buy Cipro Without Prescription, But pink slime in meat isn't the problem. Rx free Cipro, The problem is the pink slime in your brain that grabs hold of your emotional response of disgust and tries to justify it and rationalize it at any cost. Even more problematic is that pink slime doesn't even look that gross, Cipro overseas. Buy Cipro online no prescription, It looks like soft-serve ice cream, for crying out loud, order Cipro online overnight delivery no prescription, Online buy Cipro without a prescription, the most delicious thing there is. It only becomes gross when you learn that it's made from meat, buy Cipro online without prescription. (But guess what, Buy Cipro Without Prescription. Cipro tablets, Soft-serve ice cream is made from a substance squeezed out of a cow's tit. Ewww, purchase Cipro, Buy Cipro online cod, tit-cream. Barf, online buying Cipro hcl. Cipro discount, Let's boycott it!)

When this pink slime product was first revealed to the public a few years ago, people reacted with fear, over the counter Cipro, Free Cipro samples, calling for boycotts and demanding it be removed from meat. Buy Cipro Without Prescription, People who would gladly gnaw on the gristle and sinew of what was once a live chicken's leg for some reason thought pink slime was too much. The same hipsters who decry this pink slime will gladly eat at an ethnic Vietnamese restaurant and dine on "authentic" meals like soup filled with tripe, Cipro from canadian pharmacy, Cipro over the counter, hearts, and parts of animals they've never even heard of, Cipro from international pharmacy. Buy Cipro online without a prescription, Indeed, Cipro price, coupon, Cipro medication, the classic hot dog that so many people will gladly shove down their gullets to such a degree that it is the pre-eminent food of choice for competitive eating, is also made from leftover meat. Pink slime may be gross, but it's also gross when you cut open a cow and guts and shit spill out of it. It's easy to think of a cheeseburger as some nostalgic, all-American food, but on a more descriptive level it's an animal's ground-up carcass covered with a congealed, gooey yellow substance produced by that same animal's boobs wedged between pesticide-ridden lettuce with no caloric value and massive loads of sugary and starchy carbohydrates that make your kidneys do a workout the equivalent of running the New York marathon, Buy Cipro Without Prescription. Or you could just call it a cheeseburger. Needless to say, there are plenty of slimy and pink parts of a cow for you to worry about other than this lean finely textured beef additive.

Despite the overblown hype about pink slime, many restaurants and grocery stores have decided not to use or carry products that contain it. McDonalds, famous for golden arches, "healthy" salads that contain more calories than its burgers, and diabetes, no longer uses the product. Buy Cipro Without Prescription, Taco Bell, which was in the news recently for using a meat mixture that was only 35% beef and practically vegan, also no longer uses pink slime in its products. The beef industry itself has succumbed to consumer hysteria and will now start labeling its meat products that contain the pink slime. Presumably, the stickers will have little frowny faces and text that reads "This ground up cow with trace amounts of cow shit and E. coli also contains pink slime. It was also produced within a five mile radius of a factory that uses peanuts, because OMG NUTS!"

People have become obsessive over food and it's time to stop. Approximately 5% of the population suffers from gluten sensitivity and yet Whole Foods has entire aisles of gluten-free products, because idiotic people assume that if a product is "something-free" that "something" must be horrible and should be ostracized and beaten with sticks, Buy Cipro Without Prescription. (Marketers, here's an idea: Market your product as "free" of something it never contained to begin with. Put "Now with NO baby monkey testicles!" stickers on your graham crackers and consumers will immediately assume the other graham crackers MUST contain baby monkey testicles!) At grade schools you can't open a jar of peanut butter without having the bomb squad called in. The craze of "organic" food has also become mainstream, despite all food being "organic" in the chemical sense (unless you've been eating spatulas and detergent), launched to popularity by its embrace of the naturalistic fallacy (i.e., whatever is more "natural" is "better"---even though a bear attack is also natural). However, I can accept organic foods (sometimes they emphasize good farming practices and ethical treatment of animals) and nut allergies (these allergies can be fatal) and even gluten-free products (whatever). But this outcry against pink slime is just stupid. If pink slime grosses you out, then don't eat meat. Drink a fruit smoothie instead. Just don't mix any strawberries in because the result may look like PINK SLIME.

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