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The problem with Geraldo's statements isn't that he went too far in attributing problems best explained by systemic racism to outerwear that is worn by virtually everyone, from teenage girls to 40-year-old men in mustaches who pretend to be journalists, without any resulting gunshot wounds, Buy Clindamycin Without Prescription. Clindamycin over the counter, No, the problem is that he didn't go far enough, buying Clindamycin online over the counter. Order Clindamycin online overnight delivery no prescription, Hoodies are frightening, to be sure, buy Clindamycin online no prescription, Online buy Clindamycin without a prescription, but what about all the other things that are threatening when black people wear them. What about tanktops, Clindamycin medication, Where can i buy cheapest Clindamycin online, sneakers, baggy jeans, real brand Clindamycin online, Buy Clindamycin from mexico, clothes worn completely backwards, FUBU, Clindamycin san diego, Where to buy Clindamycin, those puffy winter coats, those skull caps that Common wears all the time, Clindamycin buy, Clindamycin prices, white tuxedos, sideways hats, buy cheap Clindamycin no rx, Online buying Clindamycin hcl, backwards hats, slightly off-center hats, order Clindamycin from mexican pharmacy, Clindamycin in canada, a hat facing any direction if it has an NBA logo on it, large chains with a mohawk and beard, buy Clindamycin from canada, Clindamycin in india, etc. These articles of clothing, sale Clindamycin, Order Clindamycin online c.o.d, like hoodies, also frighten innocent white people and cause their trigger fingers to twitch as their lives flash before their eyes, Clindamycin to buy. Buy Clindamycin Without Prescription, What Geraldo should have done is advised black people to stop wearing any sort of clothing that is, or ever was, associated with African American culture. Clindamycin buy, Not only should black youth dispose of their hoodies---they should dispose of all their normal clothing and stock up on sweater vests, tight-fitting khaki pants, Clindamycin in australia, Buy Clindamycin online without prescription, flannel, sweaters featuring prominent images of chihuahuas or dalmatians, cod online Clindamycin, Buy Clindamycin without prescription, short-shorts, mom jeans, buy Clindamycin online cod, Clindamycin medication, tye-dye, black hipster glasses, Clindamycin san diego, Saturday delivery Clindamycin, crocs, those weird fucking shoes that have toes and make you look like some sort of crazy person, free Clindamycin samples, Buy Clindamycin no prescription, suspenders, and ties and/or bow ties, where can i order Clindamycin without prescription. Buying Clindamycin online over the counter, They'd also have to do a sort of crop-rotation of fashion every few years, because once white people begin to associate sweater vests and suspenders with black people and hence with crime, Clindamycin from international pharmacy, Clindamycin paypal, black people would be forced to adopt again whatever it is in this counterfactual future white people are currently wearing (for example, hypothetically, order Clindamycin no prescription, Buy Clindamycin online with no prescription, leisure suits and Snuggies).

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Most importantly, though: stay out of the sun and constantly cover yourself in flour, the whiter the better.

Geraldo was on the right track, but he clearly didn't go far enough. Requiring a 48-hour waiting period and a transvaginal ultrasound before the purchase of a hoodie is a good idea, but hoodies are only part of the problem. By doing all the other things mentioned above, black people, you will probably never be shot again, Buy Clindamycin Without Prescription. Racism will cease to exist if you'd just use your common sense and get totally subsumed by white-person culture and rid yourselves of silly things like tradition, ethnic identity, and your natural skin color (go on, pull your skin off completely if you have to). Because, as we all know, the real problem in this country isn't that privileged white people are shooting black people after racially profiling them and stalking them while stroking their guns so as to make the black people incredibly afraid and uncomfortable. No, the real problem is that black people look scary.

Next week, I'll address how Geraldo's brilliant insights apply to women, and why wearing a sexy, revealing dress, or easy-to-remove sweatpants, or threateningly sexy hoodies are various ways women "ask" to be raped, and how the only way to avoid asking for a man's penis inside of your hoo-ha is to wear a full suit of armor at all times (but not a SEXY suit of armor) and/or grow a penis.

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About the author

Dustin Martinez

I'm a laid back guy. I love pizza! I never know what to write in these things! I constantly think of suicide and stand perilously before the ominous void of nonexistence. I have two dogs and I love tennis!

3 comments

  1. Boris

    Magnificent, I’m definitely planning on stealing this.
    So, hey, I don’t know if you read all your comments, but have you even considered writing for Cracked? Your writing seems exactly like the kind of thing they’re often asking their readers to submit, and even the lamest articles net a couple thousand views.
    I dunno, it just seems like it’d be a good marriage of two of my favorite things on the internet.

  2. Dustin Martinez

    Huh, I had no idea Cracked asked for reader submissions. I know they’ve got a lot of smart people writing over there. I may have to check that out. And thanks for the compliments.

  3. Stella N.

    Awesome as usual.
    And I had the exact same thought as Boris. You and Cracked seem like a perfect match.

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