Category Archive: Humor

For humorous or nonsensical posts.

Jan 31

Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription

Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription, TV critics, FCC commissioners, and homeless people eating moldy pudding out of a dumpster have all unanimously described the latest unaired episode of Fear Factor as "the most disgusting thing ever," with the FCC commissioner adding, "and this is including that one time I accidentally licked a cat's anal glands." But what could possibly provoke such disgust and outrage for a TV show that makes eating testicles seem like a familiar routine on a normal Tuesday. Buy no prescription Methotrexate online, As it turns out, NBC declined to air the latest episode of Fear Factor because contestants were made to do something so horribly disgusting that executives weren't sure the episode wouldn't cause New York to be swept out to sea in a stream of mass projectile vomit, buy Methotrexate without prescription. Methotrexate trusted pharmacy reviews, In the unaired Fear Factor episode, contestants were made to do something far worse than eat worms dipped into vats of shit; they were made to sit through an entire episode of Fear Factor, Methotrexate to buy. Buy Methotrexate online no prescription, At first, the contestants hesitated, purchase Methotrexate online. Methotrexate in australia, One contestant's finger hovered over and tentatively pressed the "play" button, but as soon as the first chords of the Fear Factor theme song were sounded, Methotrexate in usa, Where can i buy Methotrexate online, the contestant quickly retched, vomiting up the various insects and genitalia he had devoured in previous rounds, Methotrexate from canadian pharmacy, Buy cheap Methotrexate, and refused to continue.

"You can make me eat worms, Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription. And you can make me get into a vat full of cockroaches, Methotrexate prices. Ordering Methotrexate online, And you can even connect a tube from my mouth to my ass so that I shit into my mouth and then eat my shit and poop out my shit in a never-ending cycle of rebirth. But this is too far, online buying Methotrexate hcl, Methotrexate prescriptions, " said one of the contestants after host Joe Rogan told (or rather yelled, owing to a genetic disorder in which he's unable to control the volume of his voice) the contestant he'd have to watch an entire episode of Fear Factor in order to win, Methotrexate overseas. Buy no prescription Methotrexate online, "You have to understand, Joe, buy Methotrexate without a prescription, Methotrexate in india, " continued the contestant, tears streaming down his face in sadness or perhaps as a result of the few seconds of Fear Factor he had watched, purchase Methotrexate, Next day Methotrexate, "I wouldn't be able to look my children in the face if I went through with this. Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription, I would lose my dignity if I did this." He wiped some stray giant Amazonian cockroach testicle pieces from the corner of his mouth. "And if there's one thing I can't give up, buy Methotrexate no prescription, Methotrexate medication, it's my dignity." He then bowed his head and walked off stage, carefully stepping around the buckets full of rotten fish heads as he did so, buy generic Methotrexate. Methotrexate buy, As is customary, Rogan then offered the remaining contestants vast sums of unattainable wealth if they would only defile themselves in an unimaginable way, where can i buy cheapest Methotrexate online. Buy Methotrexate online without prescription, But still, none would agree to lower themselves to such a degree that they'd watch an entire episode of Fear Factor, free Methotrexate samples. Methotrexate in mexico, Joe Rogan himself, who suffers from a genetic disorder making him unable to feel pain or emotion, Methotrexate price, coupon, Where to buy Methotrexate, even began to retch as he exhorted the contestants in an increasingly wavering voice to please watch the episode of Fear Factor. It is rumored that Rogan is the only person capable of hosting the full duration of the show because of his excessive cannabis use that deadens his senses and his daily forays into a sensory deprivation tank wherein he curls up into a fetal position for hours and tries his best to burn away the memories of his hosting duties, Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription.

In general, Methotrexate san diego, Buy Methotrexate from mexico, Fear Factor justifies its extreme and disgusting practices by citing obscure cultures in which these activities are normalized. If the task is to eat frog ovaries, where to buy Methotrexate, Buy Methotrexate online no prescription, producers will point out that the ancient Mayans frequently dined upon frog ovaries as a precious delicacy when they weren't cutting out each other's hearts. If the task is to drink fermented yak piss, Methotrexate from international pharmacy, Order Methotrexate no prescription, the producers will point to the nearly vanished tribe of Yitsuishi now living in a small region in Brazil and suffering from bacterial infections and near-extinction no doubt caused by their tradition of drinking fermented yak piss. However, Methotrexate to buy, Buy Methotrexate online without a prescription, the producers could find no cultures that would watch an entire episode of Fear Factor. Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription, Even the brave Yitsuishi, induced into a feverish, infection-induced trance of religious fervor from consumption of yak urine, could not be coerced into watching an episode, choosing instead to flay themselves with whips and castrate themselves with primitive instruments of flint. And in American culture, buy Methotrexate online cod, Delivered overnight Methotrexate, Fear Factor is never watched all the way through. It survives only in short clips on Youtube, over the counter Methotrexate, Methotrexate in canada, as even strong-willed Americans desensitized to reality television schlock can only handle this type of thing in small bits and pieces.

Naturally, Methotrexate in us, Methotrexate in uk, this is not the first time Fear Factor has courted controversy. The last time, rx free Methotrexate, Methotrexate craiglist, it was in the news because NBC refused to air an episode in which a contestant drank donkey semen. Prior to that, there was a bit of a dust-up over an episode in which white supremacists were made to touch the soft, ebony skin of a real-life black person, Buy Methotrexate Without Prescription. And before that there were the episodes in which contestants were forced to read War and Peace rendered entirely in Comic Sans and Papyrus fonts, order Methotrexate online c.o.d, Buying Methotrexate online over the counter, to eat food from Hooters without the pleasant and palate-distracting presence of large orbs of female secondary sexual characteristics, and to spend over 16 minutes in the presence of Newt Gingrich, sale Methotrexate. Methotrexate in japan, Aside from the controversies generated by individual episodes, Fear Factor itself, Methotrexate over the counter, Order Methotrexate from United States pharmacy, as a show, has also been heralded as one of (possibly two of) the signs of the Apocalypse and as the progenitor of today's ubiquitous and much-maligned "reality television." Prior to Fear Factor's emergence, purchase Methotrexate online no prescription, Methotrexate tablets, television rarely featured the consumption of any genitals at all, and people making out with large, order Methotrexate online overnight delivery no prescription, Fast shipping Methotrexate, rainforest-dwelling insects was something you could find only on pay-per-view or in David Lynch films, if at all, order Methotrexate from mexican pharmacy. Saturday delivery Methotrexate, Now, of course, where can i find Methotrexate online, Buy Methotrexate from canada, that TV executives have realized the relative inexpensiveness of producing a show in which people are made to eat dicks, such sights are common fare on primetime TV, Methotrexate to buy online. Methotrexate trusted pharmacy reviews, A typical evening on NBC could now easily be mistaken for a poorly designed community college course in animal husbandry, Sex Ed., buy Methotrexate online with no prescription, Methotrexate pills, and the history of the city of Hiroshima from 1945-1949 somehow all intertwined into a mass of unintelligible schlock, with Joe Rogan (a man with a rare genetic disorder that causes him to host Fear Factor) as the extremely loud professor.

When questioned by reporters, an NBC executive reportedly said, "At the present moment we have no plans to air the episode of Fear Factor in which contestants watched Fear Factor, on our lawyers' advice." He paused. "The episode with the donkey semen, however, is still a possibility, pending the results of the paternity test.".

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May 27

Buy Kamagra Without Prescription

Gay vomit being ascended by strange figure?

Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Some people, usually sociopaths without any sense of empathy and libertarians, claim that the government can't do anything right. They insist that any project, Kamagra in india, no matter how simple, somehow becomes irreparably fucked up should any bureaucrat or government funding touch it. This probably partly explains why some libertarians don't want to see any federal funding for abortions: no one likes a botched abortion, Kamagra prices.

Being a liberal, Kamagra from international pharmacy, I find the assumption that governments automatically ruin everything to be a bit overstated. Governments ruin things no more or less than Wall Street bankers who bring down the entire U.S. economy, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. However, buy no prescription Kamagra online, even my steadfast belief in the role of government is sometimes tested. Buy generic Kamagra, The food pyramid, for example, is just one such government hack job that continually flusters me and forces me to question the wisdom of government intervention, Kamagra over the counter.

You see, Buy Kamagra online without prescription, the food pyramid is among the worst symbols ever devised. And this is including the Nazi symbol. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Charles Manson and his followers must have thought they were being rebellious and inflammatory when they tattooed swastikas to their faces, but the effect would have been more chilling had they simply tattooed the food pyramid to themselves.

When I was a child, where to buy Kamagra, the pyramid was a hopeless monstrosity trying unsuccessfully to promote healthy eating habits. Kamagra in usa, It did so with the image of a bland triangle with horizontal divisions, with the bigger lower base representing the larger quantities of grains, vegetables, where can i find Kamagra online, and fruits we children should have been eating, Kamagra to buy, and the smaller divisions toward the top representing the tastier, less healthy foods like dairy and meat that we were already eating. At the pinnacle, free Kamagra samples, though, Kamagra in india, were fats and oils, with the warning to eat them sparingly. The design was busy and confusing, cod online Kamagra. Instead of making me think about eating healthy, it made me think about pyramids, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. And then Egyptians. Kamagra tablets, And then mummies. And then mummy curses. And then I got scared and ate candy because that's what I did when I got scared---I found solace and comfort in fats and oils, Kamagra from international pharmacy. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Not only that, but it seems apparent the designers had never seen a Christmas tree or Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which were also triangular objects. In Christmas trees, Kamagra in canada, for instance, there were only crappy ornaments at the bottom, but the kickass light-up star (or sometimes a less kickass, order Kamagra online c.o.d, but still better than the lower ornaments light-up angel) went at the top. Kamagra for sale, Similarly, with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, basic survival necessities like food and shelter were at the bottom, Kamagra in mexico, but items more important for a meaningful and fulfilling life were located at the top, Buy Kamagra no prescription, like self-actualization and happiness. But the food pyramid inverted this tried-and-tested method in which things at the top of triangles are better than things at the bottom. At least, buy Kamagra from mexico, it attempted to invert this long-standing precedent. Instead they put grains and healthy shit at the bottom, and fats and oils and cheese at the top, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. Kamagra overseas, Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the essential stuff for survival was at the bottom, but the stuff that gave you happiness and purpose and meaning---the fats and oils and cheeses---were at the top, ordering Kamagra online. But the government panel that created this graphic did not consider this possible misinterpretation. Buy Kamagra online cod, They had inadvertently emphasized these unhealthy items as perfect and delicious, the pinnacle of all foods. They had unintentionally created a graphic that appeared to be saying, buying Kamagra online over the counter, "Here is a pyramid with the tastiest foods put into order for you, Buy generic Kamagra, where the tastiest ones at top are the best, and fuck those vegetables and grains at the bottom. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Those are just there for support. Kind of like how the bun and the lettuce are just support teams for your meat, Kamagra in australia. Now would you like some fat and oils on your burger?" And even though it said to eat oils and fats sparingly, Kamagra craiglist, few people in America knew what that word meant. This was America, after all, order Kamagra online overnight delivery no prescription. The only words we know here are money and pie. And also incoherent chants of USA. USA, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. Kamagra san diego, USA!

To rectify this, no doubt, the food pyramid was subsequently redesigned, purchase Kamagra online. Instead of having  horizontal divisions, Kamagra medication, which led to the inadvertent thought that items were arranged from top to bottom by tastiness, they used vertical divisions. And instead of filling the pyramid divisions with an endless number of words and pictures that explained each division, Kamagra from canadian pharmacy, they just left the divisions totally blank. Buy Kamagra without prescription, In short, they took it from one inept extreme to the other. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, The overly wordy, confusing prior pyramid had been replaced with a pyramid devoid of any context or explanation whatsoever, with an unlabelled color code and a picture of a weird stick figure with weird praying mantis arms apparently trying to climb to the top of the pyramid where the fats and oils used to be. It didn't seem possible, Kamagra trusted pharmacy reviews, but the new design was an even bigger monstrosity than the old. Kamagra buy, The following image is almost an exact replica of this new and improved food pyramid, as drawn by me:

Gay vomit being ascended by strange figure?

Anyone who glances at this image instantly recognizes what it means: that whoever made it is retarded. No, over the counter Kamagra, I can't even say that, Online buying Kamagra hcl, as it is an insult to people with severe mental disabilities. It looks as if it were made by a paraplegic dog whose mouth was stuffed with an assorted color of paints and then made to spew it everywhere. Far from resembling a food pyramid, it instead looks like a lone figure bravely ascending a mountain of homosexual vomit, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. This is worse than thinking of Egyptians and mummies and mummy curses, Kamagra in japan. Instead it conjures up images of festive, Real brand Kamagra online, proudly-gay vomit that has been converted into an escalator for stick figures with troublesomely enlarged appendages. And nothing makes me hungrier for oils and fats than constantly being forced to think about the gays vomiting in such a manner that poorly-drawn men can climb atop it.

Given the long and sordid history of the food pyramid's attempts to convince children to eat healthy foods and successes in making children binge eat in fear of mummies and gay vomit, where can i order Kamagra without prescription, the Obama administration has rightly taken it upon itself to remedy this disaster by creating a new image that will better represent the facts of healthy eating. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Michelle Obama has already made a point to fight against childhood obesity with the Let's Move. Next day Kamagra, campaign. Savvy children are already finding loopholes for that, though, order Kamagra no prescription. Because eating involves moving one's mouth and hands, Buy cheap Kamagra, and because the campaign slogan only mentions moving and says nothing about eating less, several thousand kids have taken the slogan to mean they should move more by eating more potato chips. Still others have confused it with meaning they should move to a different city, saturday delivery Kamagra, perhaps one well known for its fatty, Kamagra price, coupon, unhealthy food and from which the Obamas hail: Chicago. In short, the program has not reduced childhood obesity yet, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. It is no wonder that the Obamas are now trying to spearhead a revitalization of a campaign that attempts to educate people about healthy eating through images of pyramids. (And is it just a coincidence that they would be so intent on revising an image that depicts pyramids, online buy Kamagra without a prescription, which are found in Africa, Kamagra in uk, just months after Obama had released a fake birth certificate attempting to prove that he was not in fact born in Africa. Hmm...)

The new logo has not been released yet, but inside sources have said it will be in the shape of a plate, fast shipping Kamagra, with portions sectioned off representing the various food groups. Kamagra gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release, I predict it will look something like this, given past efforts and the previous debacle of the food pyramid:

Holy shit, that's beautiful, where to buy Kamagra. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, However, this is my own design. The real design, Buy Kamagra online no prescription, seeing as how the government is designing it, is likely to be an abomination equal to or greater than the original food pyramid, eating shellfish, delivered overnight Kamagra, and/or gays marrying each other. Kamagra to buy online, And it will probably have many of the same problematic misinterpretations. For instance, it sort of resembles a pie chart, sale Kamagra, which will make people think of one of three things:

  1. Pie. Kamagra paypal, Apple pie. Chocolate pie, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. Peach pie. Key lime pie, buy cheap Kamagra no rx. Pizza pie. Buy Kamagra from canada, Basically any kind of pie. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, And basically any kind of pie is exactly the sort of thing you don't want this image to evoke, because any kind of pie is unhealthy and would be filled to the gills with oils and fat, if pie had gills. Thankfully it doesn't have gills. There are too many oils and fats in pie for the gills to fit, Kamagra prices. There is no room left for the pie to breathe underwater.

  2. Pi. Buy Kamagra online without a prescription, Also known as the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. Also known as 3.14159265.., Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. okay, you get the idea, Kamagra in us. It is not good for children to be thinking of pi, Order Kamagra from mexican pharmacy, because it will make them obese. For one, it has infinite digits, buy no prescription Kamagra online, so it makes kids think they can eat infinite pies. Kamagra discount, For two, it has to do with circles, and circles are round and beautiful, leading children to rationalize their growing obese pot bellies as beautiful when in fact they are disgusting.

  3. Hannah Montana. Buy Kamagra Without Prescription, Kids will think of Hannah Montana when they see this new design for nutritional eating because they are always thinking of Hannah Montana. They fucking love that Hannah Montana. I think they should somehow try to incorporate Hannah Montana into the design to make it better and to pre-empt this thinking of Hannah Montana. Then the kids will be like, "I just thought of Hannah Montana. And now Hannah Montana is in this plate depicting healthy portions of nutritional foods to eat. That would be informative if I weren't now thinking about Hannah Montana again."

In summary, I am not optimistic about the prospects of this redesign convincing children to stop eating, provided there is no Hannah Montana themed element in the design, Buy Kamagra Without Prescription. Instead of wasting time and energy and money on such crude designs, Obama should be spending money on scientific research into how to make vegetables taste like cookies. Kids eat too many oils and fats not because of failed food pyramids misleading them or failed infographics or pictures of plates. They eat oils and fats because they taste like cookies. So they should just make vegetables and fruits taste like cookies, and then also use science to make cookies taste like vegetables, and then make a picture that says "VEGETABLES TASTE LIKE COOKIES AND COOKIES ARE GROSS AND TASTE LIKE ASPARAGUS AND WILL MAKE YOUR URINE SMELL WORSE THAN USUAL." And then they can put that on a picture of a plate or something. That will be the only way to make kids eat healthy.

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